We are partners. We’ve been partners ever since we reunited after a year long breakup. When we got back together, we made a commitment to each other. We knew we weren’t just hooking up again but that we wanted to spend our lives with each other. We didn’t know exactly what that looked like, but we knew we wanted to figure it out together.
Fast forward three years and we’re starting to have a solid grasp on what our commitment to each other looks like. It looks like being kind with each other, it looks like video game dates, and it looks like lazy coffee dates. It looks like entire conversations of inside jokes and it means loving each other’s families as much as our own. It looks like being our own family unit, just David Corinna and Lyra.
It also looks like rings and privately spoken vows to one another. We had our rings custom made through an etsy jeweler, and the design combine elements of our personal favorite options. They are made of titanium, copper and a gorgeous red cherry wood. Wearing them feels like this public declaration of our commitment to each other, broadcasting an easily-recognizable symbol of our union, even if we’re not married.
Because we’re not married. I’m not his wife, he is not my husband. We have no intentions of making it “official” through paperwork. This isn’t to say either of us judges anyone who does go that route, it just means that when we were figuring out how our commitment looked, it didn’t include a wedding or a marriage.
A few people at my office asked me why I don’t want to get married and I… I just didn’t know how to respond, even. I just wanted to ask back, why should I want to get married?
Someone on Facebook asked if congrats were in order and the answer is yes, I think. We’re celebrating having a tangible, physical metaphor for the commitment we made to each other years ago, to the commitment we make to each other every day.
David made the great point that it’s like we’re celebrating Christmas without having to celebrate a religion, and we’re doing it without getting caught up in the bulging mass of materialism, a trap of forced consumerism.
Like, we do want to celebrate Christmas together, for the rest of our lives even, we just want to do it in a way that is meaningful to us as two individuals, and to not be forced into celebrating in a particular manner only because that’s how others choose to celebrate. We know that’s not what weddings or even marriage is to other people. We have both been lucky enough to have shared in loved ones’ weddings and have a lot of respect for the significance of it in their lives.